Conviction
demos iii, bonus
I swear to you I will kidnap and hogtie these idiots if I have to so that we might record these demos for real.
It hurts to hear what I was so sure of, knowing what happens after I stopped recording. Not that it was some dramatic standoff where there was a winning party and a losing party. Just something pedestrian and devastating. A slow forgetting of the emotion that felt like rapture. Forgetting so that you may have never been moved by it at all.
Writing during the Landmark sessions, there were a great many songs that fell through the cracks. Obviously, there can only be a certain number of songs on a record (one full vinyl can only handle ~45 minutes), but where does a song start its journey into being forgotten?
For one, it could be a weakest link syndrome. Amongst its peers, it stands a hair shorter than the rest. It could be that you have too many of one thing. Two ballads on an album, you’re pushing it, but fine. Three or more is a sleepy crowd. Even good masses of one ilk have to be thinned out.
Another reason could be a prima donna in our midst. I’ll be the first to admit I have played this part more than my fair share. But this was not one of those times. We often call the negotiations of this band a democracy. But that’s not accurate. We operate in a yieldocracy in which the person or group of people who feel the strongest usually direct the proceedings. For example, if three people like an idea, but one person hates an idea, the profound displeasure of that one person overrides the lukewarm favor of the other three, and thus they yield to the minority. Or vice versa, if three people are mildly opposed to something, but someone has a penetrating vision for it, the stronger emotion wins, and the others yield.
But what happened for Conviction, ironically, was just that. A lack of it. No commanding wind to usher it on. No strong dissent against it. Nothing particularly discerning to stand out from the crowd. It was lost in the heap, and there it lay.
It resurfaced many times since it was written. At shows, or at the request of fans during sound checks. It’s been brought up during recording sessions for future projects. But for whatever reason, we tend to leave songs behind once they miss their bespoke vessel of departure. Maybe some of these songs are due for a return ticket.
listen to the demo, see some photos: